“(1) Learned how to better connect with others; being curious, vulnerable, trusting again, no monologue but dialog instead; (2) Learned tools to reduce stress: Reduce stress handout, being in touch with my body through EMDR to reduce & eliminate trauma; sitting with discomfort, staying present, breathing more deeply; journaling, feeling grateful; (3) Learned to address Grief: understand grief is also about loss of childhood, Journaling about grief; Wrote letters to family & read letters in group & then read them to family & this improved my relationships (4) Learned to have new relationship with family; avoided Red Zone communication, Direct back & forth listening & speaking, Acceptance of what is & letting go of past hurts; Acceptance of Self: I’m not needy, I’m available; Letting go of Trauma; (5) Learned to sit with discomfort & be aware of my body sensations. (6) Learned to express boundaries & limits so I don’t feel resentful. Sessions in group about saying “No” were extremely valuable to reduce stress; (7) Exercise of Inner child, Inner Critic, & Strengthened Inner Loving Adult; Learned to “check in” with myself multiple times a day.”
“Working with Gary the past 3 years really helped me a lot. I dealt with the stress of my divorce, I gained the tools to deal with anxiety, childhood trauma, abandonment as well as grief. With Gary’s help I have became a better judge of character and gained the skills to have healthy confrontations and control my anger & frustrations. He has really been an amazing therapist, who truly has his patient’s best interest at heart.”
“Things I’ve Learned/Gained: Expressing my feelings; Dialoguing not monologuing; Accepting responsibility for my own feelings; Taking care of myself (mind, body, spirit); Gained a husband 🙂 Having a healthy relationship with my partner; Choosing healthy relationships and letting go of unhealthy ones; Group therapy; Dealing with my fathers death”
“I want to thank you for giving me the tools I need to cope with the anxiety of the world & particularly related to my health issues. My main reason for seeking therapy is that I start ‘catastrophizing.’ Gary has taught me many techniques to get me out of the negative cycle to truly live in the present. A cornerstone of the philosophy is to accept that the future cannot be predicted. But also, I have learned relaxation / calming techniques which, used daily is a practical method for reducing inner stress. Thank you so much for all you have taught me.”
“Growths. I have been in the Intimacy group for two years to date. When I began I was not sure what I would learn or how I would benefit from the group. I knew that I needed support in relating to others especially other males. By working through past traumas I suffered in my childhood through EMDR and counseling, I was helped to be able heal those traumas and practice with other men from a place of empowerment and healing. My gained tools are now as follows: No longer seeking validation from others I realize that it is my responsibility to validate myself. This has given me so much inner peace, freedom and power. I have accomplished this through developing a relationship between my inner adult and inner child. I now am able to enjoy more intimate and improved conversations. I am less nervous and judgemental when engaging with others. I don’t worry as much about how I appear to others nor do I consciously practice judging or making generalizations about others. I correct myself mid sentence when I do. I am also now aware of my inner child’s need to people-please and the need to silence my inner critic. I work through these emotional lows with confidence. As a result, I don’t feel so alone anymore. These things used to make me depressed for long periods of time, causing me to make poor decisions because of not being present but now I am better at managing depression and anxiety. I enjoy journaling to manage my feelings and practice certain physical techniques to maintain being present in high stake situations and conversations. I am leaving the group with dividends that I will reap for the rest of my life.”
“Gary and the men in the intimacy group helped me better my life over the course of a few years. I’m now more empathetic, emotionally aware, and my relationships with family and friends are more meaningful. Thank you so much for your help.”
“Over the past 4 years Gary has helped me through a lot of change in my self and life. With his help I’ve gained a deeper understanding of my past and how it affects my present. He taught me practical tools to consciously navigate the present. He encouraged me to explore new social and creative activities. He helped me improve my most fraught relationship, with my mom. He pushed me to take concrete steps to change my work situation for the better. Since I started with Gary, I am more in touch with my feelings, which enables me to communicate more honestly and make healthier decisions for myself and others. I’m grateful for his persistence in keeping me on track and his openness to all modes of self discovery and healing.”
“I recommend Gary and especially his group therapy for men and other workshops. I originally began seeing Gary after the death of my mother to work on grief, depression and anger. After a few months of one-on-one therapy, I joined his weekly group for gay men. This group – which is typically comprised of fewer than ten pre-screened, thoughtful and considerate individuals who are all seeking to improve their relationships with others and themselves – certainly changed my life. Over the course of four years in the group I dealt with grief (e.g., grieving with others and reconciling with an emotionally distant, alcoholic father); self-awareness and my “inner critic” (e.g., identifying my feelings in the moment and being less critical of myself and others); practicing intimate, inter-personal communication (e.g., expressing my feelings verbally, sharing vulnerable experiences with my partner and learning to proactively “let off steam” rather than lose my temper); and fear of abandonment/rejection (e.g., realizing other peoples’ judgments are about them and not me; gaining confidence that I’ll always be able to take care of emotional needs). To any gay men who have struggled with individual therapy, I highly recommend giving group therapy a chance – particularly if it is moderated and counseled by Gary Prottas.”
“Gary is a great listener with amazing recall. I always knew he was invested in my wellbeing, recovery, and growth. He helped me stay accountable and pushed me in areas where I was at times afraid to go but needed to in order to heal. So overall, I am very grateful for the kind of therapist he is and the way he practices. I am lucky to have worked with him and benefitted from him showing me how to heal, learn, and grow past my earlier traumas and life difficulties.
I am grateful for the opportunity to work with Gary for over six years. He was a committed, caring, and knowledgeable practitioner who was focused on my growth, learning, and healing. My time working with him was truly transformative and I am now able to function as a healthy, emotionally balanced adult who can enjoy his life to its fullest.”
“I went to Gary at a midlife crisis point in my life. I had been in therapy on and off for over 25 years, but had not been in a long while and was interested in figuring out why I was feeling so blah and down when my life appeared from the outside to be A okay. I worked with Gary for about four years in private and group therapy and learned more in that time than I had learned throughout my early therapies. I was able to re-connect with my inner child and begin to feel emotions that I had never felt or had buried for decades. Gary is insightful, compassionate and empathetic. I would recommend him highly to anyone who is willing to do the difficult work of digging deep into themselves.”
“I came to see Gary upon a friend’s recommendation. I was depressed after a break-up and wasn’t sure I had the emotional resources to process the sadness and anger on my own. I was very skeptical about therapy–though ignorant would be a better word for it–and Gary managed to say something, a short phrase, at the end of our first session that made me feel secure. It was the same phrase my closest friend had said to me after the breakup; I haven’t heard anyone mention it since. What I realized in individual therapy led me to group therapy, where I learned some basic tenets of communication and how to identify feelings, which had never been taught to me at home. In many ways, I was using a toolbox that was not only outdated, but had never worked in the first place. Though I was often defensive when confronted with new ideas of myself, Gary’s gentle manner and genuine concern convinced me that I was in good hands. After years with Gary, it is clear to me that helping others, being of service to them, is his vocation and that his patients are lucky to have found someone so dedicated to their mental and spiritual growth.”
“I started with Gary as a 35-year-old child and left him a 39-year-old adult. When I first sought out Gary’s help, I was immature and unable to take responsibility for my choices and actions. I was also uncomfortable with intimacy—especially with other gay men—and unable to handle conflict. My emotions would always overwhelm me and get the best of me. I was stumbling through life, merely existing. It was like I was a passive participant in my own life, unable to grab the wheel and drive myself in the direction I needed to go. Prior to Gary, I had seen only therapists who would coddle me and allow me to vent without actually offering me the guidance and push that I needed. Gary challenged me to be a better person and to strive to be the adult I knew I needed to be. He is caring and kind, yet firm and persistent. It was just the kind of guidance I needed to blossom into a man who is in control of his life. I will forever be grateful for his help!”
“Working in individual and group therapy during the past several years has saved my life! I changed from a man trapped in shame, guardedness, fear, insecurity and rage, to someone who is and will be loved, supported, empowered, maturation and awakening to all that was already in me (which I didn’t believe when I started). I wouldn’t have been able to discover any of this without stopping to work on myself and opening up. For me it continues to not only listening to who and what’s around me, but first to what is inside of me – what I’m feeling, how I’m breathing, where do I feel tension, and where am I relaxed. This work correlates wonderfully with who I’ve become with yoga, meditation, theatre, and the body itself. I’ve also learned that intimacy is a gift and not something to fear. I learned to let go of control and due all that I’ve faced in hardship and loss, I now recognize that I’m stronger and have endurance and hope. I started in therapy feeling depressed and I’m leaving feeling hopeful and happy. I now know that when I put my mind to something, there is little that can get in my way. With Gary’s help and encouragement, I have been able to get my Master’s degree, my yoga certification, and job opportunities. I am flourishing!”
“My work with Gary for the last three years has transformed my life. I’ve learned how to trust my gut again, identify my feelings and manage my reactivity. I can now better identify my needs and wants without aggression, manage conflicts that may arise in this process, and handle disappointments. Gary has challenged me to speak my truth, even when this led to friction between us, and he has always been there to work through these moments that have led to real growth. Because of Gary, I feel more grounded and secure in myself, at work and in my relationships. Gary has helped me work through significant childhood traumas and losses, and he has given me the tools needed to continue this work.”
“I am grateful to Gary for helping me to look within and see myself more clearly than ever before. After years of living in denial by suppressing grief and sadness, Gary helped me identify the cause of my fears and find the courage to confront them. Having watched and lost my entire family and many, many friends to cancer and AIDS, I realized with Gary’s help that I could remember the good times with loved ones without being consumed with overwhelming grief and regret.”
“I have learned the importance of understanding that many of my present day issues originated when I was young, and that to grow past them it is my responsibility to nurture those damaged parts of trauma in ways my parents were incapable of.”
“After being in therapy I can look at myself with a sense of pride and love, rather than harsh cruel judgments full of shame.”
“I have learned how to establish and maintain personal boundaries, and to use this knowledge to create healthy relationships with friends, family and romantic interests.”
“Because of therapy I no longer look at the world as a dark depressing place full of hopelessness, but rather as a place of ups and downs that in general has more good than bad to offer.”
“Because of therapy with Gary I now no longer shame myself and no longer have any sexual compulsion that almost destroyed my long term relationship. I truly take care of myself now. I am grateful to Gary for changing my life.”
“I have become less fearful of criticism, receive constructive and caring feedback, and not ignore my feelings anymore.”
“I saw how the way I relate to myself affects all my relationships. I am much kinder and compassionate with myself.”
“After 11 months of being in his therapy group my anxiety with people was gone.I discovered tools to help me deal with expressing myself better.”
“I wasted 10 years in another therapy group and joined Gary’s group and I saw progress in 8 months!”
“I started to become connected to my feelings for the first time and now I take care of myself -I no longer sabotage myself after being in Gary’s therapy group.”
“I am now out to my family and I am no longer closeted – I recognize shame in my life: where it comes from, how it holds me back.”
“I have developed skills to communicate better with others. I can now be more intimate in my life.”
“I am now able to see clearly how others perceive me – I can now speak up for myself.”
“I am learning ways to interact with others in a healthy and productive manner.”
“I have embarked on a path of more serious self-examination to see how I hold myself back in life and made me accountable to work on these issues.”
“Where previous counselors were not able or helpful, Gary worked with me to find the strength to speak up for myself while still having empathy and truly connecting with others. My relationship with my partner has grown deeper and healthier as a result. Instead of speaking AT each other, we are able to speak WITH each other and truly hear what the other is saying. We’ve achieved a level of communication that has allowed us to be more intimate with each other without fear of judgment or ridicule and have grown as a couple. That understanding of each other has removed an enormous amount of stress and false assumptions of each other and the world around us.”
“This time last year I was in the darkest New Years Eve ever. Lost, emotionally cut off, sexually rapid, and overall not liking who and where I was in my life. On this New Years Eve, I felt alive for the first time in my life at the age of 42. I’m focused on my career, not acting out sexually, and I can say I really like myself now. The group has changed my life! My communication skills have improved beyond anything I was even aware of. My ability to listen to someone is now there, and all of my life I was unaware that I didn’t listen, or connect emotionally. I can say today all of my relationships have improved across the board, including my most emotionally challenged ones. The funny thing about learning the skills in Mr. Prottas group/individual is that you really do learn awareness, and in some cases such as mine there are relationships I have had to walk away from because I could now view it as a unhealthy relationship, whereas before Mr.Prottas and his truly amazing skills, I couldn’t see the difference between healthy behavior and unhealthy behavior, and that in itself is truly turned my life around. I have been accused of being a cheer leader in the past, but never has it been a more fit title for me then cheering Gary Prottas on in all his therapy skills. If you want to really take charge of your life and finally get off the roller coaster trust me when I say Gary Prottas is the difference.”
“I’ve made progress since I started seeing Gary a year ago and I finally found the support I need to become the man I want to be. My family, friends and co-workers often comment on how much change they’ve seen in me. It’s not easy but it’s working…and that feels like a miracle. I’m relieved that I’m moving forward on a path to to life I’ve yearned for.”
“Over the last five and a half years, in collaboration with Gary, I have been able to turn my life around and evolve into the mentally healthy person I never realized I wanted to be. Gary would challenge me in ways no one ever would and I never thought about. We worked together to evaluate my behaviors, properly label my feelings, process them, allow me to come to a conclusion on whether my thoughts were irrational or not, and if not, discuss healthy ways to address what was happening. I have made a 180 and feel so much more self-reliant, stronger, and grateful.”
Facilitating groups since 1982. 15 years working with the GLBTQ community
Affordable individual and couples psychotherapy.